Post by LancerZero on Jan 18, 2009 10:57:43 GMT
Hi. As most of you have probably guessed by this point, I am having some trouble. I haven't passed more than one or two classes since the wreck two years ago. I haven't managed to hold a job more than a few months since the wreck, before which I worked at the same place for four years. I also can't seem to get into RPing the way I used to. I have a few moments, here and there, but all told it winds up making my head hurt. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, and so much longer to admit it.
That wreck did something to my head. Besides smashing the windshield and knocking me unconscious, that is. I've been fighting this admission for many months, but the fact of the matter is that I'm simply not going to be the person I was before the wreck. I can't be that person anymore because he's not behind the eyes and between the ears anymore, so I'm forced to find another way forward.
On one front, I've applied for clerical jobs at a nearby airport, and easily surpassed all typing requirements. I'm not taking any classes this semester, so I can concentrate on trying to reconstruct my life and form myself into something resembling the coherent human being I was. I keep thinking maybe I should take more classes on writing, as the ability to string words together cogently seems to be one of the abilities I've managed to hold onto.
Anyway. I can't say how sorry I am for letting you all down, more than once, on RoER2. I kept thinking, "C'mon, I can still do it!" only to learn that nope, I can't. Not with the casual ease I used to be able to. And fear of retribution is what's kept me away ever since that realization...I don't know if I'm back here, even. Not yet. Many memories, some good, some bad. But you all deserved to know this much, at least. And those of you who've stuck by me those few times I log onto AIM, who remain cheerful no matter how reticient I am...deserve my thanks for being better friends than I've been to you.
That wreck did something to my head. Besides smashing the windshield and knocking me unconscious, that is. I've been fighting this admission for many months, but the fact of the matter is that I'm simply not going to be the person I was before the wreck. I can't be that person anymore because he's not behind the eyes and between the ears anymore, so I'm forced to find another way forward.
On one front, I've applied for clerical jobs at a nearby airport, and easily surpassed all typing requirements. I'm not taking any classes this semester, so I can concentrate on trying to reconstruct my life and form myself into something resembling the coherent human being I was. I keep thinking maybe I should take more classes on writing, as the ability to string words together cogently seems to be one of the abilities I've managed to hold onto.
Anyway. I can't say how sorry I am for letting you all down, more than once, on RoER2. I kept thinking, "C'mon, I can still do it!" only to learn that nope, I can't. Not with the casual ease I used to be able to. And fear of retribution is what's kept me away ever since that realization...I don't know if I'm back here, even. Not yet. Many memories, some good, some bad. But you all deserved to know this much, at least. And those of you who've stuck by me those few times I log onto AIM, who remain cheerful no matter how reticient I am...deserve my thanks for being better friends than I've been to you.