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Post by Allen on Nov 22, 2008 17:33:40 GMT
Written when I was half asleep, and looking over a list of writing prompts. The phrase "candle in the window" kept circling through my mind, and I've found that the only way to get something like that out of my mind is to do something about it. So, poetry it is! I wasn't trying for any imagery or anything, just letting my thoughts out onto paper. I'm copying it here for your entertainment, and in case I lose the paper Candle in the WindowKeep a candle in the window, love, so when I return, in the darkness of night, I will have your hope, to light my way. Keep a candle in the window, love, so long as you remember, and so long as you love, I promise you that one day, I will return. Keep a candle in the window, love; it is with a heavy heart, and leaden feet I must, leave my love behind, only to protect you. Keep a candle in the window, love; for when I return, in the darkness of night, I would have your hope, to light my way.
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Post by Robshi on Nov 22, 2008 21:30:05 GMT
Not bad there Allen! Pretty nice poem! You ever written poetry before now?
I only have a few nitpicky complaints about it, like not understanding why you put a comma in the first line of the first and last verse. That, and the fact you don't use any commas or other punctuation elsewhere.
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Post by Allen on Nov 22, 2008 21:34:39 GMT
I've dabbled before, both successfully and not; I seem to write this sort of thing better when I'm extremely tired, but unable to sleep as for the punctuation, that was more because I typed this in notepad late last night, and just copied it straight here without editing. I'll stick some more commas in now that I'm properly awake
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