Post by ajcrescent on Jul 17, 2008 1:39:56 GMT
Here's a new game to play at the next anime convention you go to: The Anime Convention Drinking Game! Guaranteed to make any con 25% more fun!
First off, you need an anime drink to get in the anime mood: Rock Lee Punch! For this, you'll need half a cup of water, half a cup of lime juice, and one bottle of good quality rum.
Mix the water and lime juice first, otherwise the rum will sink to the bottom and you'll get drunk way too quickly. Stir the mix as you're adding the rum for the best distribution. You will probably need backup supplies. If anyone asks, it's juice. If anyone asks why you smell like rum, it's juice and coconut milk.
And variations? You can use orange juice instead of lime and call it Naruto Punch, but then you might want to switch to vodka because rum's not great with orange. You can have Sasuke Punch if you're brave enough to try using grape juice, and Sakura Punch if you use pink lemonade. And if you use regular or fizzy lemonade, I guess it'd be Kakashi Punch. Maybe you could even grab some of that pomegranate juice that comes in a container shaped like Gaara's sand gourd, mix it with something and call it Gaara Punch. Why? Because Gaara's awesome.
If you find your drink too strong, feel free to water it down a little. If you don't want to get drunk, don't want to risk getting caught with alcohol at the con, aren't old enough to legally drink, or simply don't like alcoholic beverages, just use a different non-alcoholic drink of your choice.
Anyway, enough babbling, on with the drinking!
Around the convention area...
Take one sip when you see:
* A cosplayer whose outfit doesn't fit properly. Take two if it's the classic really fat person trying to fit into an outfit four sizes too small.
* Someone wearing their normal clothes with cat ears and/or a wig. Take two if it's both.
* Someone wearing a non-cosplay Gothic Lolita dress. Take two if they have the nerve to claim they're Misa Amane from Death Note, Freya from Chobits, Princess Perona from One Piece, etc.
* A cosplayer who wears glasses and doesn't take them off for photos despite their character having 20/20 vision. Take two if they DO take them off.
* A cosplayer who decided not to wear make-up and/or fix their hair. Take two if it's both.
* A bathrobe samurai.
* Someone dressed as a generic schoolgirl/catgirl/fighter dude/angsty bishonen/etc. Take two if they claim it's actually from something when it's quite obviously not.
* Someone wearing a generic airsoft vest not related to any character. Take two if they say it's related to Resident Evil.
* Someone with their t-shirt tucked into their pants.
* Someone speaking Bakanese {example: "Watashi kawaii baka desu~!" or "OMG you're so bake-a! This manga is way more kawaii than that one!"}. If needed, take as many more sips as you need until the pain of listening to the idiots goes away.
Take one gulp if you see:
* Someone hitting on someone else who's far too young for them. Take two gulps if it's a caucasian otaku hitting on an oriental girl just because she's oriental. Down the whole bottle if the creep actually manages to seduce the girl.
* A yaoi fangirl. Take two gulps and run the hell away if she comes at you with a paddle.
* A yaoi fangirl dressed as one of the guys from her favourite yaoi pairing. Take two if she has a plushie of the character's so-called "Gay Love Interest", or a companion dressed as said so-called "Gay Love Interest".
* Someone walking into someone's wings or props, in the way of a photo, or on someone's stuff without saying sorry. Take two if they actually notice what they did and STILL don't apologize.
* Anyone with a gun prop in their hand PUTTING THEIR DAMN FINGER ON THE TRIGGER when they get their photo taken. Take two if they DON'T do this.
* Cosplay completely unrelated to anime, manga, video games, etc. Take two if the cosplayer actually starts trying to convince people that their costume has LOTS to do with anime. Down the rest of the bottle if it's some idiot who actually thinks Totally Spies, Teen Titans, Avatar, Winx Club, Kappa Mikey, or any of those other western anime wannabe cartoons are 100% authentic anime, or someone who believes they should be considered anime because "ZOMG THEY HAVE BIG EYES, SPEEDING BACKGROUNDS, SWEAT DROPS, ANGER VEINS, PRETTY-BOYS, CATGIRLS, AND CHOPPY-ASS ANIMATION LIKE NO ANIME HAS EVER HAD".
* A Sexy no Jutsu version of any Naruto character.
* Someone in a V for Vendetta mask trying to be Anonymous. Take two if some of them actually do represent 4chan, rather than being posers who bought their masks hours after arriving.
* Someone with a sign. Take two if the person carrying it is looking for hugs or a girl/boyfriend.
* Someone who thinks life in Japan actually works like an episode of their favourite harem anime. Take two if said favourite harem anime is the classic lonely otaku favourite, Love Hina.
* Someone running up to a random InuYasha cosplayer and yelling "SIT!!" as if expecting them to play along and fall flat on their face.
* One of those elitist idiots who thinks everything is better in Japanese.
* Someone who is ragingly insistant upon pronouncing everything the way the Japanese do, yet still says "ann-ih-may".
Chug when you see:
* A male crossplayer who manages to not look disgusting.
* Someone who thinks there's absolutely nothing disturbing or culturally inaccurate about Lucky Star, Kodomo no Jikan, Love Hina, Club-to-Death Angel Dokura-chan, Hanaukyo Maids, or whatever they happen to be into. Chug another bottle if they insist it's widely accepted in Japan.
* People doing Caramelldansen. Once you've finished chugging, shatter their collective world by loudly informing them that the song is Swedish, and by asking them if they even know the name of the anime that idiotic dance is from.
At an anime screening...
Take one sip:
* For every line of dialogue that's obviously been altered in some way from what it was in the original Japanese version. And it has to be noticeable--don't simply be picky about how things are worded between different versions.
* If a character starts freaking out at the sight of blood that's no longer there.
* For every character whose name in the American version is different from what it is in the Japanese version. Take two of you find yourself wondering how the hell they came up with the new name.
* For every character whose gender is different from what it was in the Japanese version. Take an additional sip for any extra body parts that have been digitally added onto the character.
* If the standards for what is censored and what isn't change noticeably from one episode in the series to another. If the standard should happen to fluctuate wildly within the course of a single episode, chug.
* For each piece of digitally rendered clothing painted onto any of the characters. Chug an entire bottle for every digitally rendered shirt painted onto a MALE character's bare chest.
* For any scene where you can tell Japanese writing was removed from something.
* When the dub adds random lines of dialogue, including "thinking" dialogue, where there are clearly meant to be gaps of silence.
* For every dub-only joke that isn't funny in the slightest.
* If the dub has the same number of commercial breaks as the Japanese version.
* Whenever you notice the music has been changed. This includes, but is not limited to stupid background music and crappy new theme songs that don't even match the rest of the show's music or fit the show's overall mood {for example, Digimon, Escaflowne, CardCaptors, all 4Kids dubs}, some idiot's idea of an English "version", rather than an ACTUAL translation of the song {Sailor Moon}, and butchered background music that has been randomly spliced together for no reason at all {Pokemon, Escaflowne}. Chug if you own the soundtrack of the show's original songs and music, or if you actually feel pain while listening to this mess the dubbers call music. Drain two bottles if both occur.
* If you're watching a shoujo series which has been edited to appeal to 10-year-old American boys with short attention spans. Then take an additional sip for every piece of meaningful dialogue or character development that has been sacrificed so an action sequence or unnecessary flashback could be spliced in.
* When you see a character with hair that looks like a bunch of bananas. Warning: Using alcohol for this will cause death.
Take one gulp:
* If a mug of beer is changed into juice or water. Take two if it's still frothy.
* If it's an anime you've been following for years and people are stupid enough to believe it's new {example: YuYu Hakusho, WHICH CAME BEFORE DBZ}.
* If the screaming is actually believable.
* When an anime makes a direct reference to another anime or a video game. If you're watching Lucky Star, using alcohol WILL cause death within just a few minutes, because making endless otaku culture references clumsily disguised as genuine comedy is the entire point of the series. If it's in a dub and only about five people will get it and they STILL LEAVE IT IN {for example, Yolei's Utena-style fantasy about Mimi in Digimon Season 02, or Erika's introduction on Pokemon perfectly mimicking another scene from Utena, or the MOTHER/EarthBound reference in Shin-chan, or the various uber-obscure references made throughout Lucky Star}, chug the rest of the bottle.
* If a character is noticeably gay in the Japanese version, but got toned down or turned straight in the dub. Take two if the character is gay but NOT toned down {like Fred Luo from Outlaw Star}. Down the bottle if the character was simply a bit effeminate in the Japanese version and was turned into a stereotypical flaming homo in the dub {like James from Pokemon}.
* Whenever, during an English dub screening, some idiot yells "SHOW IT IN JAPANESE!" halfway through an episode.
* If the beautifully animated and choregraphed intro with cool, catchy, memorable J-Pop/J-Rock has been dropped for an intro that's full of random scenes and flashes from the show and the original opening cut-and-pasted together into one big mess, accompanied by a godawful, repetitive, mindless piece of crap "song" usually consisting of someone repeating the name of the show over and over and over {perfect examples being Yu-Gi-Oh, Digimon, and the Fox Kids version of Escaflowne}.
* If the dub is actually good. Take two if it turns out to be BETTER than the Japanese version.
Chug:
* If you get to view the banned-from-American-TV Outlaw Star episode, "Adventures on Hot Springs Planet Tenrei". Feel free to keep chugging as many bottles as you please to make the experience even more fun.
* If an entire character is omitted.
* If, by some miracle, the editors take a series that makes little--if any--sense at all in its original Japanese form, and creatively snip and paste pieces here and there and cause the whole chaotic mess to finally make sense. If, while attempting this miracle, they manage to make the storyline even MORE confusing than it originally was, chug two bottles.
* If there's an anime being shown that you've known and followed for years, and some little weenie who's only watched the dub for about a year claims that you know nothing about the series. Once you're done chugging, whack them over the head with the empty bottle.
* When you realize that most anime series that run longer than 52 episodes tend to repeat the exact same plot over and over again {prime examples being DBZ, Yu-Gi-Oh, Naruto, InuYasha, and ESPECIALLY Pokemon}.
At events {Masquerade, karaoke, gaming, AMV competition, etc}...
Take one sip when you see:
* Two fangirls doing a yaoi performance in the skit contest or the Masquerade. Take two if it's an overused never-gonna-happen fangirl classic including, but not limited to: Naruto+Sasuke, Cloud+Sephiroth, Hwoarang+Jin, Light+L, Goku+Vegeta, InuYasha+Miroku, Zoro+Sanji, Axel+Roxas, or Ed+Roy+Scar+Greed+Envy+Al+Wrath+Armstrong. Chug the whole bottle if it drags on way longer than is necessary.
* An AMV about Naruto or Death Note.
* An AMV with Linkin Park or similar angsty music.
* Subtitles, DivX logo, or funky Windows Movie Maker effects in an AMV
* An AMV with anything magical-girlish with random J-Pop.
Take one gulp when you see:
* Someone singing a Gackt song in karaoke. If they're a nightmare to listen to, keep drinking until they start to sound talented.
* Someone playing DDR as if it's magically making them cool. Take two if the song they chose ISN'T the otaku favourite, Butterfly. Otherwise, chug.
Chug when you see:
* An AMV with a Weird Al song because the maker of the AMV was under the impression that Weird Al instantly makes everything funny.
In the Dealers' Room...
Take one sip when you see:
* Standard flavours of Pocky being sold for more than $3.
* People taking pictures of the merchandise because they can't afford it.
* Someone buying Japanese salty snacks.
Take one gulp when you see:
* A DVD box set being sold for twice the price you could get it at your local Best Buy for.
* Someone buying hentai dojinshi, ecchi figurines, or life-size hugging pillows.
* Merchandise completely unrelated to anime, manga, video games, etc. Take two if the dealer actually starts trying to convince people that the merchandise has LOTS to do with anime.
* Bootleg CDs that con security, for some stupid reason, has allowed the dealer to sell. Take two if it's from Ever Anime, the most notorious anime soundtrack bootleg company in the world. Then report the dealer's ass to security.
Finally, take one swig for every otaku in the line-up for the all-night hentai screening. Depending on the size of the line, and what you personally define as a swig, doing this may get you plastered after about 5 minutes.
First off, you need an anime drink to get in the anime mood: Rock Lee Punch! For this, you'll need half a cup of water, half a cup of lime juice, and one bottle of good quality rum.
Mix the water and lime juice first, otherwise the rum will sink to the bottom and you'll get drunk way too quickly. Stir the mix as you're adding the rum for the best distribution. You will probably need backup supplies. If anyone asks, it's juice. If anyone asks why you smell like rum, it's juice and coconut milk.
And variations? You can use orange juice instead of lime and call it Naruto Punch, but then you might want to switch to vodka because rum's not great with orange. You can have Sasuke Punch if you're brave enough to try using grape juice, and Sakura Punch if you use pink lemonade. And if you use regular or fizzy lemonade, I guess it'd be Kakashi Punch. Maybe you could even grab some of that pomegranate juice that comes in a container shaped like Gaara's sand gourd, mix it with something and call it Gaara Punch. Why? Because Gaara's awesome.
If you find your drink too strong, feel free to water it down a little. If you don't want to get drunk, don't want to risk getting caught with alcohol at the con, aren't old enough to legally drink, or simply don't like alcoholic beverages, just use a different non-alcoholic drink of your choice.
Anyway, enough babbling, on with the drinking!
Around the convention area...
Take one sip when you see:
* A cosplayer whose outfit doesn't fit properly. Take two if it's the classic really fat person trying to fit into an outfit four sizes too small.
* Someone wearing their normal clothes with cat ears and/or a wig. Take two if it's both.
* Someone wearing a non-cosplay Gothic Lolita dress. Take two if they have the nerve to claim they're Misa Amane from Death Note, Freya from Chobits, Princess Perona from One Piece, etc.
* A cosplayer who wears glasses and doesn't take them off for photos despite their character having 20/20 vision. Take two if they DO take them off.
* A cosplayer who decided not to wear make-up and/or fix their hair. Take two if it's both.
* A bathrobe samurai.
* Someone dressed as a generic schoolgirl/catgirl/fighter dude/angsty bishonen/etc. Take two if they claim it's actually from something when it's quite obviously not.
* Someone wearing a generic airsoft vest not related to any character. Take two if they say it's related to Resident Evil.
* Someone with their t-shirt tucked into their pants.
* Someone speaking Bakanese {example: "Watashi kawaii baka desu~!" or "OMG you're so bake-a! This manga is way more kawaii than that one!"}. If needed, take as many more sips as you need until the pain of listening to the idiots goes away.
Take one gulp if you see:
* Someone hitting on someone else who's far too young for them. Take two gulps if it's a caucasian otaku hitting on an oriental girl just because she's oriental. Down the whole bottle if the creep actually manages to seduce the girl.
* A yaoi fangirl. Take two gulps and run the hell away if she comes at you with a paddle.
* A yaoi fangirl dressed as one of the guys from her favourite yaoi pairing. Take two if she has a plushie of the character's so-called "Gay Love Interest", or a companion dressed as said so-called "Gay Love Interest".
* Someone walking into someone's wings or props, in the way of a photo, or on someone's stuff without saying sorry. Take two if they actually notice what they did and STILL don't apologize.
* Anyone with a gun prop in their hand PUTTING THEIR DAMN FINGER ON THE TRIGGER when they get their photo taken. Take two if they DON'T do this.
* Cosplay completely unrelated to anime, manga, video games, etc. Take two if the cosplayer actually starts trying to convince people that their costume has LOTS to do with anime. Down the rest of the bottle if it's some idiot who actually thinks Totally Spies, Teen Titans, Avatar, Winx Club, Kappa Mikey, or any of those other western anime wannabe cartoons are 100% authentic anime, or someone who believes they should be considered anime because "ZOMG THEY HAVE BIG EYES, SPEEDING BACKGROUNDS, SWEAT DROPS, ANGER VEINS, PRETTY-BOYS, CATGIRLS, AND CHOPPY-ASS ANIMATION LIKE NO ANIME HAS EVER HAD".
* A Sexy no Jutsu version of any Naruto character.
* Someone in a V for Vendetta mask trying to be Anonymous. Take two if some of them actually do represent 4chan, rather than being posers who bought their masks hours after arriving.
* Someone with a sign. Take two if the person carrying it is looking for hugs or a girl/boyfriend.
* Someone who thinks life in Japan actually works like an episode of their favourite harem anime. Take two if said favourite harem anime is the classic lonely otaku favourite, Love Hina.
* Someone running up to a random InuYasha cosplayer and yelling "SIT!!" as if expecting them to play along and fall flat on their face.
* One of those elitist idiots who thinks everything is better in Japanese.
* Someone who is ragingly insistant upon pronouncing everything the way the Japanese do, yet still says "ann-ih-may".
Chug when you see:
* A male crossplayer who manages to not look disgusting.
* Someone who thinks there's absolutely nothing disturbing or culturally inaccurate about Lucky Star, Kodomo no Jikan, Love Hina, Club-to-Death Angel Dokura-chan, Hanaukyo Maids, or whatever they happen to be into. Chug another bottle if they insist it's widely accepted in Japan.
* People doing Caramelldansen. Once you've finished chugging, shatter their collective world by loudly informing them that the song is Swedish, and by asking them if they even know the name of the anime that idiotic dance is from.
At an anime screening...
Take one sip:
* For every line of dialogue that's obviously been altered in some way from what it was in the original Japanese version. And it has to be noticeable--don't simply be picky about how things are worded between different versions.
* If a character starts freaking out at the sight of blood that's no longer there.
* For every character whose name in the American version is different from what it is in the Japanese version. Take two of you find yourself wondering how the hell they came up with the new name.
* For every character whose gender is different from what it was in the Japanese version. Take an additional sip for any extra body parts that have been digitally added onto the character.
* If the standards for what is censored and what isn't change noticeably from one episode in the series to another. If the standard should happen to fluctuate wildly within the course of a single episode, chug.
* For each piece of digitally rendered clothing painted onto any of the characters. Chug an entire bottle for every digitally rendered shirt painted onto a MALE character's bare chest.
* For any scene where you can tell Japanese writing was removed from something.
* When the dub adds random lines of dialogue, including "thinking" dialogue, where there are clearly meant to be gaps of silence.
* For every dub-only joke that isn't funny in the slightest.
* If the dub has the same number of commercial breaks as the Japanese version.
* Whenever you notice the music has been changed. This includes, but is not limited to stupid background music and crappy new theme songs that don't even match the rest of the show's music or fit the show's overall mood {for example, Digimon, Escaflowne, CardCaptors, all 4Kids dubs}, some idiot's idea of an English "version", rather than an ACTUAL translation of the song {Sailor Moon}, and butchered background music that has been randomly spliced together for no reason at all {Pokemon, Escaflowne}. Chug if you own the soundtrack of the show's original songs and music, or if you actually feel pain while listening to this mess the dubbers call music. Drain two bottles if both occur.
* If you're watching a shoujo series which has been edited to appeal to 10-year-old American boys with short attention spans. Then take an additional sip for every piece of meaningful dialogue or character development that has been sacrificed so an action sequence or unnecessary flashback could be spliced in.
* When you see a character with hair that looks like a bunch of bananas. Warning: Using alcohol for this will cause death.
Take one gulp:
* If a mug of beer is changed into juice or water. Take two if it's still frothy.
* If it's an anime you've been following for years and people are stupid enough to believe it's new {example: YuYu Hakusho, WHICH CAME BEFORE DBZ}.
* If the screaming is actually believable.
* When an anime makes a direct reference to another anime or a video game. If you're watching Lucky Star, using alcohol WILL cause death within just a few minutes, because making endless otaku culture references clumsily disguised as genuine comedy is the entire point of the series. If it's in a dub and only about five people will get it and they STILL LEAVE IT IN {for example, Yolei's Utena-style fantasy about Mimi in Digimon Season 02, or Erika's introduction on Pokemon perfectly mimicking another scene from Utena, or the MOTHER/EarthBound reference in Shin-chan, or the various uber-obscure references made throughout Lucky Star}, chug the rest of the bottle.
* If a character is noticeably gay in the Japanese version, but got toned down or turned straight in the dub. Take two if the character is gay but NOT toned down {like Fred Luo from Outlaw Star}. Down the bottle if the character was simply a bit effeminate in the Japanese version and was turned into a stereotypical flaming homo in the dub {like James from Pokemon}.
* Whenever, during an English dub screening, some idiot yells "SHOW IT IN JAPANESE!" halfway through an episode.
* If the beautifully animated and choregraphed intro with cool, catchy, memorable J-Pop/J-Rock has been dropped for an intro that's full of random scenes and flashes from the show and the original opening cut-and-pasted together into one big mess, accompanied by a godawful, repetitive, mindless piece of crap "song" usually consisting of someone repeating the name of the show over and over and over {perfect examples being Yu-Gi-Oh, Digimon, and the Fox Kids version of Escaflowne}.
* If the dub is actually good. Take two if it turns out to be BETTER than the Japanese version.
Chug:
* If you get to view the banned-from-American-TV Outlaw Star episode, "Adventures on Hot Springs Planet Tenrei". Feel free to keep chugging as many bottles as you please to make the experience even more fun.
* If an entire character is omitted.
* If, by some miracle, the editors take a series that makes little--if any--sense at all in its original Japanese form, and creatively snip and paste pieces here and there and cause the whole chaotic mess to finally make sense. If, while attempting this miracle, they manage to make the storyline even MORE confusing than it originally was, chug two bottles.
* If there's an anime being shown that you've known and followed for years, and some little weenie who's only watched the dub for about a year claims that you know nothing about the series. Once you're done chugging, whack them over the head with the empty bottle.
* When you realize that most anime series that run longer than 52 episodes tend to repeat the exact same plot over and over again {prime examples being DBZ, Yu-Gi-Oh, Naruto, InuYasha, and ESPECIALLY Pokemon}.
At events {Masquerade, karaoke, gaming, AMV competition, etc}...
Take one sip when you see:
* Two fangirls doing a yaoi performance in the skit contest or the Masquerade. Take two if it's an overused never-gonna-happen fangirl classic including, but not limited to: Naruto+Sasuke, Cloud+Sephiroth, Hwoarang+Jin, Light+L, Goku+Vegeta, InuYasha+Miroku, Zoro+Sanji, Axel+Roxas, or Ed+Roy+Scar+Greed+Envy+Al+Wrath+Armstrong. Chug the whole bottle if it drags on way longer than is necessary.
* An AMV about Naruto or Death Note.
* An AMV with Linkin Park or similar angsty music.
* Subtitles, DivX logo, or funky Windows Movie Maker effects in an AMV
* An AMV with anything magical-girlish with random J-Pop.
Take one gulp when you see:
* Someone singing a Gackt song in karaoke. If they're a nightmare to listen to, keep drinking until they start to sound talented.
* Someone playing DDR as if it's magically making them cool. Take two if the song they chose ISN'T the otaku favourite, Butterfly. Otherwise, chug.
Chug when you see:
* An AMV with a Weird Al song because the maker of the AMV was under the impression that Weird Al instantly makes everything funny.
In the Dealers' Room...
Take one sip when you see:
* Standard flavours of Pocky being sold for more than $3.
* People taking pictures of the merchandise because they can't afford it.
* Someone buying Japanese salty snacks.
Take one gulp when you see:
* A DVD box set being sold for twice the price you could get it at your local Best Buy for.
* Someone buying hentai dojinshi, ecchi figurines, or life-size hugging pillows.
* Merchandise completely unrelated to anime, manga, video games, etc. Take two if the dealer actually starts trying to convince people that the merchandise has LOTS to do with anime.
* Bootleg CDs that con security, for some stupid reason, has allowed the dealer to sell. Take two if it's from Ever Anime, the most notorious anime soundtrack bootleg company in the world. Then report the dealer's ass to security.
Finally, take one swig for every otaku in the line-up for the all-night hentai screening. Depending on the size of the line, and what you personally define as a swig, doing this may get you plastered after about 5 minutes.